When I woke up this morning, I had a feeling I would be spending a few minutes today writing a back story for Medieval Death Bot for Daily Create 1571. It’s just so obvious. Here it goes:
John de Waltham, struck upon his head with malice in 1322 by John Myng in the lane called “Shitebournelane”
— Medieval Death Bot (@DeathMedieval) April 17, 2016
When one is unfortunate enough to be born and bred on ‘Shitebournelane’, one has to deal with a lot of shite-talking from the nearby, higher class streets like ‘Nottoobavenue’, ‘Decentlivingdesac’ or even the really fancy ‘Cuppladentistsliveherevard’.
And so it was in mid-June of 1322 that Johnny ‘No Soap’ De Waltham of Nottoobavenue sauntered through Shitebournelane, tossing out his usual stream of clever yet foul invective at anyone who had the misfortune of being ‘of Shitebournelane’, for the last time.
The irascible John Myng had heard enough. John De Waltham had called his mother a ‘Fustylug’ for the last time. Mr. Myng struck John de Waltham on the cranium with a brick that had fallen off of his house just that morning. It was generally seen as an overreaction by all. John Myng went to jail and rightly so as murder was a crime even back then.